Non-Catholics at Catholic Funerals

Yesterday, I went to my first Catholic funeral. Since neither the deceased nor his wife was particularly religious, I had not known the wife was Catholic--and I have known her for 30 years.  Many of the guests were non-Catholics--Protestant and Jewish.

The priest reached the point in the service during which Communion was offered and said "If you are Catholic, you may receive the Eucharist. If you are not Catholic, remain in your seats."  His wife went forward to receive communion and someone approached her and apparently told her not to receive. "I'm a baptized Catholic," she told her.

I was appalled. Yes, I know about the rules about Catholics and communion but this was her husband's funeral. Even if she had been Protestant, it would have been kinder to let her receive this act of comfort at her husband's funeral and just keep quiet.

When the priest told non-Catholics to remain seated, the woman in front of me muttered "This is so wrong."  At a time when everyone needed to feel united, we were divided. I was unsure of whether to receive or not. On the one hand, I thought maybe the widow would have been disappointed if I didn't go forward. On the other hand, I didn't want to claim a privilege denied to other attendees.

I wish the priest had said something like "Catholics may receive communion. If you are not a Catholic, you may come forward and I will give you a blessing." It would have made everyone feel included in the service.

In fairness to the priest, he spoke English as a second language and his curtness may have been the result of his limited English rather than insensitivity. Still, we Catholics need to find ways to make non-Catholics visiting our churches feel like welcome guests instead of people who don't belong to our club.