My mother and brother, also converts to Catholicism, attend a church that had an unpopular pastor. The pastor was overweight, dyslexic, a poor homilist, and a very poor manager of money. He was also a gracious, generous-spirited man with the gift of compassion. He is, I am told, gay.
What distressed me about this situation is the way the entire church ganged up on the man. It seems to me that the mismanagement of money was a genuine issue but one that could have been solved by insisting that he appoint a parish finance council.
The other issues should have been met with compassion. A man with dyslexia who is trying to read the Gospels and deliver homilies in front of large crowds should be treated with kindness. Even though most people in the parish probably did not know about the dyslexia, it was obvious from watching him that he struggled to read and had some kind of disability.
As for his homilies, he was actually decent enough when he spoke from his heart. If the parish and shown him love and support, he might have had the courage to speak from his heart more but it is hard to make yourself vulnerable in the face of hostility.
To make matters worse, that hostility often came from the people who should have shown the most support: the church steward, the people who attended daily mass, the deacon. All those people who compose the backbone of the church and who should have shown the most compassion were often those who treated him the worst.
I have the impression that part of the hostility he encountered was due to his (alleged) gayness. The steward is also gay and there seemed to be some kind ill-feeling between them, the origin of which I didn't really understand. They were NOT lovers so it is not a matter of sexual jealousy. In any case, the steward didn't like him and because he was at the church every single day and knew virtually everybody, he was able to stir up ill-feeling against the priest very effectively.
Suffice it to say that the church went through much trauma, the pastor has been sent back to assist at his original parish, and a new pastor has been appointed. The new pastor has not been able to say mass at the church yet because he is actually serving as pastor for two parishes until a replacement can be found for his old parish. He sent a message to be read in church today saying that he is working hard to get the parish finances in order and that he was doing "forensic accounting." In other words, even though he hasn't said a single mass yet, he let it be known during mass that the other pastor had messed up royally. My heart ached for the original pastor.
Fortunately, many other people in the congregation thought this priest got a raw deal and that he was treated with a singular lack of Christian love and compassion. Some of these parishioners plan to visit him at his new church where he serves as priest but not as pastor.
If any priest or future priest is reading this, learn the following lessons from this saga:
appoint a parish finance council
Unless the financial situation of the church is absolutely desperate, be sure to give the church steward, the church secretary, and other employees annual raises. One of the things that bothered the steward--and this was legitimate--was that the pastor spent huge sums of money refurbishing the rectory while the steward hadn't had a raise in three years.
The pastor often downloaded his weekday homilies from the internet. If you do this, don't be seen doing this. Or, one pastor I know simply omits the weekday homily. His Sunday homilies are excellent and maybe his parishioners are okay with skipping weeday homilies because the mass ends sooner and this is important for people who need to get to work on time.
Remember that your parish is judging you by the quality of your homilies. If you need help in this area, join a Toastmaster's Club or take a public speaking course. Apparently, seminaries don't teach this skill well enough. Go to priests who give excellent homilies and ask them for their advice on how to do it.
Money management and homilies will make or break your priesthood or pastorate. Keep that in mind. After reading this story, do you still really want to be a priest?
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The Sex Scandal Again
Our Archbishop, Thomas Wenski, published an op-ed piece in the local paper, the Sun Sentinel, against gay marriage. His basic argument is that it undermines the sanctity of the family. The hypocrisy reeks to high heaven. He gave a priest who had been accused of molesting a teenage boy a new church not too long ago, albeit a church serving mostly elderly people. I can think of nothing that undermines the family more than the sexual abuse of children because it damages the ability of the victims to have emotionally mature relationships with others. This is far worse than a marriage that ratifies an age-appropriate relationship between two people of the same sex.
After all the pain the church has been through during the last decade, re-appointing a priest accused of molesting a kid is the height of insensitivity. I hope this priest is innocent but given the church's history of sweeping these allegations under the rug rather than investigating them, nobody knows.
After all the pain the church has been through during the last decade, re-appointing a priest accused of molesting a kid is the height of insensitivity. I hope this priest is innocent but given the church's history of sweeping these allegations under the rug rather than investigating them, nobody knows.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The priest shortage: a proposal
Catholics are deeply concerned about the priest shortage. Few sexually normal young men want to sign on for a lifetime of celibacy and the ones who do often leave, which is frequently a good thing. It seems to me that much of the problem could be solved by changing the structure of the diaconate.
What if young men were offered the opportunity to train for the priesthood without being ordinained into the celibate diaconate. At the same time, they could have a second, secular major like law, accounting, education, psychology, or whatever. As younger men, they could serve as financial directors, teachers in catholic schools, accountants, or whatever their secular occupation is. In return, perhaps their children could get scholarships to Catholic schools or maybe the church could help them by arranging favorable home loans or good health insurance. Having these young men serve the church in a secular capacity would free the priests to tend to religious needs rather than economic ones. Then, when these men were older and if they were unmarried at that point, they could be ordained into the priesthood--after their hormone levels had declined and they had had children.
Modern medical technology enables people to live longer, healthier lives, meaning that a priest ordained at age 65 might serve a decade or more.
This suggestion solves another problem. Many priests really don't know how to manage large budgets or how to be administrators. Having others handle these jobs would no doubt save many churches from undergoing severe financial trials. Over and over, I have seen compassionate, spiritual priests mismanage church funds, not from dishonesty but from lack of knowledge. I have also met priests who were wonderful administrators but amazingly insensitive people.
Just my thoughts on the vocation crisis.
What if young men were offered the opportunity to train for the priesthood without being ordinained into the celibate diaconate. At the same time, they could have a second, secular major like law, accounting, education, psychology, or whatever. As younger men, they could serve as financial directors, teachers in catholic schools, accountants, or whatever their secular occupation is. In return, perhaps their children could get scholarships to Catholic schools or maybe the church could help them by arranging favorable home loans or good health insurance. Having these young men serve the church in a secular capacity would free the priests to tend to religious needs rather than economic ones. Then, when these men were older and if they were unmarried at that point, they could be ordained into the priesthood--after their hormone levels had declined and they had had children.
Modern medical technology enables people to live longer, healthier lives, meaning that a priest ordained at age 65 might serve a decade or more.
This suggestion solves another problem. Many priests really don't know how to manage large budgets or how to be administrators. Having others handle these jobs would no doubt save many churches from undergoing severe financial trials. Over and over, I have seen compassionate, spiritual priests mismanage church funds, not from dishonesty but from lack of knowledge. I have also met priests who were wonderful administrators but amazingly insensitive people.
Just my thoughts on the vocation crisis.
Non-Catholics at Catholic Funerals
Yesterday, I went to my first Catholic funeral. Since neither the deceased nor his wife was particularly religious, I had not known the wife was Catholic--and I have known her for 30 years. Many of the guests were non-Catholics--Protestant and Jewish.
The priest reached the point in the service during which Communion was offered and said "If you are Catholic, you may receive the Eucharist. If you are not Catholic, remain in your seats." His wife went forward to receive communion and someone approached her and apparently told her not to receive. "I'm a baptized Catholic," she told her.
I was appalled. Yes, I know about the rules about Catholics and communion but this was her husband's funeral. Even if she had been Protestant, it would have been kinder to let her receive this act of comfort at her husband's funeral and just keep quiet.
When the priest told non-Catholics to remain seated, the woman in front of me muttered "This is so wrong." At a time when everyone needed to feel united, we were divided. I was unsure of whether to receive or not. On the one hand, I thought maybe the widow would have been disappointed if I didn't go forward. On the other hand, I didn't want to claim a privilege denied to other attendees.
I wish the priest had said something like "Catholics may receive communion. If you are not a Catholic, you may come forward and I will give you a blessing." It would have made everyone feel included in the service.
In fairness to the priest, he spoke English as a second language and his curtness may have been the result of his limited English rather than insensitivity. Still, we Catholics need to find ways to make non-Catholics visiting our churches feel like welcome guests instead of people who don't belong to our club.
The priest reached the point in the service during which Communion was offered and said "If you are Catholic, you may receive the Eucharist. If you are not Catholic, remain in your seats." His wife went forward to receive communion and someone approached her and apparently told her not to receive. "I'm a baptized Catholic," she told her.
I was appalled. Yes, I know about the rules about Catholics and communion but this was her husband's funeral. Even if she had been Protestant, it would have been kinder to let her receive this act of comfort at her husband's funeral and just keep quiet.
When the priest told non-Catholics to remain seated, the woman in front of me muttered "This is so wrong." At a time when everyone needed to feel united, we were divided. I was unsure of whether to receive or not. On the one hand, I thought maybe the widow would have been disappointed if I didn't go forward. On the other hand, I didn't want to claim a privilege denied to other attendees.
I wish the priest had said something like "Catholics may receive communion. If you are not a Catholic, you may come forward and I will give you a blessing." It would have made everyone feel included in the service.
In fairness to the priest, he spoke English as a second language and his curtness may have been the result of his limited English rather than insensitivity. Still, we Catholics need to find ways to make non-Catholics visiting our churches feel like welcome guests instead of people who don't belong to our club.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
