A really bad priest

The old priest left the priesthood and I am delighted. He and I did not get along. Apparently, at least one other woman had the same problem with him.  She told me to watch who he greets warmly after mass--that he greets those who can advance his career in the church. Months later, someone told me this priest had antagonized the other priest in the parish so badly that they had stopped speaking

At one point, I offered to do some free work for a young woman in the church who did not have much money.  As soon as I agreed, her whole way of talking to me changed. She went from being gentle to being edgy and demanding. An old boyfriend sometimes dials in remotely to my answering machine because at one point, he didn't have a regular residence and used my number. After this woman left a message, he talked to me later and asked "Who is this person? Why is she talking to you this way?" A few weeks later, she called again. I listened to my voice mail and gasped.  She was actually YELLING, ALMOST SCREAMING at me and barking orders at me. I was stunned and felt like I was being bullied. My friend called in remotely and later called me to ask "Why is she so abusive to you?"  I wrote her an email telling her I didn't like the way I was  being treated. She worked part time at the church and apparently, she shared the letter with the priest. By the way, there were no profanities and no threats. It was just a very strong statement of my hurt at the way I was being treated. 

Well, the priest didn't even stop to think that maybe I had a reason to feel the way I did.  He refused to even shake my hand when I came out of church,  made a terrible face, opening his eyes wide in mock horror and letting his mouth hang open. Then he turned away from me. EVERYONE WALKING OUT OF MASS SAW HIM SNUB ME. He didn't bother to get my side of the story or even consider that maybe I had a side. He would walk away from me when I tried to talk to him.

Being rejected by one's priest really hurts.  There was no objectivity, no neutrality, no nothing.  He didn't stop to think that this young woman would treat him--a man, her priest, her boss--differently than she would treat me.

Later,  I met with him to work on HIS ministry and he acted like he was doing ME a favor by meeting with me.

This priest was an activist priest. Very liberal, even radical and interested in working with the poor and with an organization called BOLD Justice. It has often been remarked that often people with the most humanitarian ideologies are the most difficult in their personal lives. He is an example of that.

As a P.S., this young woman and I patched up our differences. She told me she was severely abused by her mother. Apparently, when I agreed to do free work for her, I put her in the same position emotionally that she was in when she was young and needed her mother and got abuse instead of help. She was no doubt doing what many abused people do--checking out people who befriend them to see if they are safe and what their limits are.

I can understand and forgive this girl, but I really can't understand and forgive this priest. His name is Paul Kane and I feel no need to protect people who humiliate me *publicly.*  After all, I wasn't asking for heroic pastoral care. I just wanted a handshake after mass.